Home

I know this is old news, but we were able to bring Jamin home Wednesday. He was able to leave even though he isn't "healed" completely because I have been there there soaking up what to do, how to care for him, and what to watch for. Otherwise it would be another 3-4 weeks before he has a normal breathing rate. He cannot nurse enough to meet his needs, so along with a little bit of nursing he takes a special bottle of my pumped milk; fed to him in a way that is easy on him but won't get into his lungs. Other than that, we are just doing the normal newborn bit around here.

When we took him outside those hospital doors that afternoon it was his first breath of "real" air, after 18 days of life; the tears of joy were flowing. When I laid in my own bed that night I suddenly felt the heaviness of the situation. Weariness overtook me in every way: emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually.

Ecclesiastes 3:7, "A time to tear and a time to mend."

Not Yet

It's Sunday morning and there isn't really a departure time near in site. It's easy to dwell on the inconviences and lonliness in the midst of chaos; after all practically living in a hospital is far from hospitable. But the Lord reminded me: YOUR BABY IS ALIVE, rejoice! I've sadly watched two families have to start thinking about funural arrangements instead thinking about car seats, baby clothes and cribs. Their babies looked to have had very similar problems to Jamin, don't know for sure of course due to patient confidentiality. I need to be spending my thoughts praising Him not nagging Him!

Jamin still needs level 2 care, the remaining hurdles are to calm down his breathing rate, get the junk out of his lung and chest, and be strong enough to fully feed himself. Breaths per minute are down to *only* double what they need to be and he can feed himself about 40% of what he needs. By the way level 2 care means that he needs monitoring and assitance for basic functions, pretty much what most of the babies in the NICU are, *just* sick. Level 3, which he was at for 8 days, is critical, pretty much cannot preform any basic funcions without constant assistance. Level 1 is when baby is stable and is monitored to make sure he/she can endure basic tasks of everyday life, such as ride in a car seat. Baby needs to be totally self sufficient with basic functions for approx. 48 hours before discharge.

While it is a bummer that he is not well enough to thrive at home, the fact that we will eventually take him home is the biggest blessing we could ask for! God is good, no matter what the outcome could have been with this situation, but oh how wonderful it is that he spared our precious little Jamin!

Jamin's To Do List

~ cough up junk in chest and get the fluid out of his right lung

~ start breathing at a normal rate which is 20-45 breaths per minute, not his current 60-100

~ no need for the extra oxygen, he wavers between needing 23-35% to keep his oxygen saturation levels up, room air is 21%

~ stop looking like a pumpkin, he is jaundice but tests show him currently just under the treatment line

~ full healing of his scars so that there will be no infection

~ learn to the bottle without tiring out and taking advantage of the tube that goes strait to his tummy after a few sucks

~ be strong enough to be awake at least 3 hours total a day

~ prove to his doctors that he can be stable for a 48 hour period

Little by little!!!

We get to hold him a few times a day now! Sunday was his first cry, first hiccups, first eye contact. Out also since the last post came his other line out of his bellybutton that gave him his fats and baby gatorade. He still needs quite a bit of pressure pushed into his lungs (2L), but it is near room oxygen level, he's at 24%. He needs to learn to tolerate enough milk each feeding, (takes a while to get your stomach up to speed with your caloric needs when you didn't use it for a week) and learn how to really suck a bottle, then begins nursing. We haven't been told a timeline of when we might go home (they stopped predicting speed with him =) If we were to guess it would be this following Monday. It is such a blessing to use the phrase "when we get home..." it means that this portion of the trial is almost over! THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU for all your prayers, God has truly worked a miracle!

1 week old

I don't know where to start there is just so much GOOD to share; glory to God!

First I want to point out to those that didn't know that he was born on John's birthday. Judi (John's mom) was born on her dad's birthday. And Alysun (sister-in-law) is due with Jamin partner in crime on her birthday. Kinda funny weird, eh?

So with my last post I put God in a box, and He is teaching me not to do that. I ended with the statement that he had a long way to go using extra o's to emphasise. Well while at this exact second in time he has x,y, and z to complete there is no telling how long it will take. The Lord has accelerated his healing. The nurse's and doc that had him last weekend walked in yesterday pretty much floored that this was the same baby. Before the main doc came in I was pretty sure he would have the same good surprised reaction as the nurse to I braved myself to share a little bit of why he is going so good so fast. You see, I've never personally lead anyone to the Lord, I've never done street evangelism or helped run a 5 day club or something similar. Occasionally I will say praise the Lord to someone that I don't know their spiritual status, but not really much more than that, and especially not to such intelligent people like doctors. So when she had the reaction that I had expected I nervously in my heart but confidently in my voice said, "The glory goes all to God almighty. I know you all are great at your jobs, but He is the one that gets the credit. This little man literally has thousands of people praying for him." There I had said it, looking into her eyes. I looked back at Jamin for fear of a disgusted look. She put her hand on my shoulder and said "Amen." I know that probably isn't a big deal with most of you for me it was. You see while pleating with God for his precious life I reminded Him that He does all things for His glory. I prayed that His healing of our son would do just that, bring glory and honor to Him, so that I can love him and raise him up here on this earth. A living testimony, a constant praise for the giving of life.

So on to more ways to lift up His name. Yesterday was a big de-cluttering day at Jamin's bedside, because he can do a few more things on his own! The MAJOR thing is that his ventilator is gone and he has downgraded to a nose tube for extra oxygen. Oxygen levels did have to go up to 27% after the move, but that is just because he needs extra support from all the changes. With all the chest tubes out of him they have slowly weaned off all the pain meds. Because he doesn't need constant (every 3 hours) blood gas tests (O2 vs. CO2) they took one of his two lines out of his bellybutton that feeds into a major vein. His catheter is also out, so I changed my first diaper of his Saturday evening! I've never been so excited, trilled and with a big fat smile on my face to wipe poop. There is a LOT of equipment that is gone with this, even if it doesn't sound like much. So what is left is his feeding tube that goes strait to his tummy it is currently down his throat but is going to be moved to up and then down via his nose soon, with that he is getting my pumped milk. (I will have to post later about the evil yellow pumping machine.) He has one line via belly button that gives him his fats and "baby gatorade". I asked but there is no place to donate my unwanted fat to his cause =) He has his nose tube that gives him extra oxygen to keep his oxygen levels up. Also on him is the way to measure those oxygen levels, they light up and one in on his hand/wrist and one is on his ankle/foot. The hand one measure the amount of oxygenation before it goes through the heart and the foot one measures after. And the last thing on him is an IV port on his left wrist in case that have to give him anything "extra."

So even though there is still several things attached to him, I was able to accomplish another first. After what will hopefully be the longest week of my life, I held my son for more than his initial 30 seconds. John had to run home real quick and got stuck in an unusual Saturday traffic jam I-5 south (this is one reason why we all don't live in Portland, right!?) So he missed this event and there is no documentation with a photo. I cannot begin to describe how I felt (or how much my milk dropped. =) So amazing and powerful is His love for us.

Update on little Jamin

He is off the oscillator (shaky bed that makes him breathe and helps blood flow) and has all 3 chest tubes are out of his body! So the holes in his lungs look to have healed and he can semi breathe on his own with the help from the ventilator... at room oxygen level (21%) I might add! His ventilator reminds him to breath when he forgets and aids him if needed with his own initiated breath. He still has tubes and wires helping him with every other function but all the doctors (he has one assigned to him for everything, respiratory doc, heart doc ect.) and nurses are AMAZED with his quick progress, before they expected him not to be at this point after 3 weeks and he did it in 1 (less since he has about 13 more hours until he is one week old.) Only with God's power!

A few days ago, when I was feeling overwhelmed by how far he needs to go before we can take him home, I was encouraged by a simple AWANA song I used to sing with the chums. So appropriate...

"Little by little, inch by inch, by the yard it's hard, by the inch what a cinch. Never stare up the stairs just step up the steps. Little by little, inch by inch. "

There is still a looooooong way to go, but we will celebrate each *small* improvement!

Pictures

Understanding the deadly combo

Persistent pulmonary hypertension of the newborn (PPHN): Babies with PPHN cannot breathe properly because they have high blood pressure in their lungs. At birth, in response to the first minutes of breathing air, the blood vessels in the lungs normally relax and allow blood to flow through them. This is how the blood picks up oxygen. In babies with PPHN, this response does not occur. This leads to a lack of oxygen in the blood, and sometimes to other complications including brain damage. Babies with PPHN often have birth defects (such as heart defects) or have suffered from birth complications.Babies with PPHN often need a ventilator to help them breathe. They may be given a gas called nitric oxide through a tube in the windpipe. This treatment may help the blood vessels in the lungs to relax and improve breathing.

Respiratory distress syndrome (RDS): Babies with RDS lack a chemical mixture called surfactant, which keeps the small air sacs in the lungs from collapsing. Treatment with surfactant helps affected babies breathe more easily. Babies with RDS also may receive a treatment called C-PAP (continuous positive airway pressure). The air may be delivered through small tubes in the baby's nose, or through a tube that has been inserted into his windpipe. As with surfactant treatment, C-PAP helps keep small air sacs from collapsing. C-PAP helps your baby breathe, but does not breathe for him. The sickest babies may temporarily need the help of a ventilator to breathe for them while their lungs recover.

My Sweet Son

I gave birth to you, my sweet son;
but I have not cuddled you in my arms.

I gave birth to you, my sweet son;
but you have not suckled my breast.

I gave birth to you, my sweet son;
but you have not clung to my finger.

I gave birth to you, my sweet son;
but we have not held eachothers gaze.

I gave birth to you, my sweet son;
but I have not heard you cry.

I gave birth to you, my sweet son;
but you are not mine, you're HIS.

Happy 3rd Birthday Jacob!

Jacob is now a hearty 3 year old (although if you ask him he will tell you he is 5.) He should feel very loved because his party was Sunday afternoon during an impressive downpour, yet all that were invited trekked out to the city park anyways. Praise the Lord we got the shelter, this many people wouldn't fit just anywhere (14 children, 4 teens and 16 adults from 6 families)
I had all these "Secret Missions" planned on various park equipment, all organized and ready to go; but obviously we had to settle for games that could be done under the covering i.e. duck, duck, goose, and Simon says. I don't think the kiddos cared, they were just as excited to get together! As for me I was happy to go, sitting cozy in a comfy chair.

Happy Birthday our little heal grabber, we love you and are blessed to be trusted by the Almighty to raise you up!

For the Birds

Well, midwife said I'm still the same, 3 cm and effaced, which is the good news I was hoping for. Also, good news for now (bad for later) is that Jamin is nestled down there sunny-side up. Good because it is less pressure, helpful for when you trying not to have a baby, bad because if he doesn't turn I'll get to enjoy the same fabulous back labor I had with Josh. We are praying he will move into position in a few weeks when he can safely arrive. I was really dehydrated again from all the vomiting so I was given two new types of anti-nausea to try. 3 strikes and I'm out. Not only do they not relive the nausea they gave me the biggest headaches thus I've been like a skitzophrenic muttering "this is for the birds."

Moving on, Jacob turned 3 yesterday and I was able to spend a couple hours with him, watch him open the cards that have come for him in the mail and thoroughly enjoy his cupcake. He is very excited to have his "army guy" birthday party in the park on Sunday, I'm still working on getting John to let me go.

Also wanted to share a recent conversation I had with my husband as we climbed into bed:
K: "So if we have the baby all of a sudden, we aren't even close to being ready. I don't even know where the newborn clothes are that all need to be washed, not to mention need to find a place for. And what about the bassinet and car seat..."
J: "I know exactly where the car seat is in the garage."
K: "O.k. and what about everything else?"
J: "When it comes down to it the car seat is all we need so we can take him home."
So as I lay there quiet and the heat rises into my face, I realize; my dear husband is a very diligent, hard working employee, so when he comes home he likes to do things his way and on his terms after being told how and what to do all day. So I decide not fight him on such the subject but you know what, he's right, one really doesn't need anything to have a baby. Now if only I can change my thinking...

Friends, Food & Movies

We may as well live in an Amish community the way word spreads around here like wildfire =) My fridge and pantry are well stocked with food as so many lovely people have come to help us out! Plus many people sending movies my way to help with the boredom. I feel so loved, undeserving and humbled. I am going into the midwife's office tomorrow morning to get checked out to make sure I'm not progressing, I'm looking forward to hearing that everything looks good. I'll have to do a post about all the good movies I'll have to recommend =)

Bed Rest

I have been feeling really yucky this past week and Thursday night and all day Friday I had several contractions an hour. Exhausted, John took me in Friday night to the birth center to get checked out. I hooked up and my contractions were monitored showing there was no stress to baby or to me, but that the contractions were "real." I was given an IV with some Magnesium Sulfate to help slow down and lessen the intensity of the contractions. Mind you these were painful, but not cross your eyes and squeeze your husbands hand until it turns blue pain. I could either camp out there under hospitalized bed rest until 36 weeks (July 23) or go home and be on strict bed rest. Our insurance covers 80% putting hospitalized bed rest at about $300/day. No thank you! So after they slowed to once every 10 minutes I was sent home and told see you soon, but hopefully not too soon. They are still pretty consistent ranging from 2-10 minutes apart and sometimes enough to bring me to tears, knowing that I get to be in pre-labor for a total of 3 weeks minimum kinda freaks me out. I'm finding myself chanting "I can do all things through Him who strengthens me..." It's the end of my second day and I already feel like I'm going to lose my mind, the last thing a woman in pain wants to do is sit and do nothing but feel it, right! If baby were to be born now he'd probably be o.k. after a week or two in NICU. But it is sooooo much safer to be born at 36 weeks or later. Please pray for Baby Jamin to develop as much as possible before he busts out, and if you volunteer to help watch my kids, please mean it because I'll be calling :)

FREE Lunch

I forgot to share something I've been taking advantage of this summer: the free lunch program. Meet up with us at LaCreole middle school every week day at 12 noon for free lunch for kiddos 1-18! Come right on time or 5 minutes early or else you risk getting in line behind the campers, which means adding another 20 minutes to your stay. They always offer hot and cold main course items and they get milk, fruit and veggies, all to be eaten in the cafeteria, no items can leave the room, but hey, it's free!

Busy Bees

You know we are experiencing nice weather when I don't post very often! The outside just sucks this family out and it hurts to come in :)

Recent going on's:

-Getting asked 5 times in one day if my older two are twins, I'll have to post a recent photo and get your opinion on the matter.
-Having the P.A. and our Pediatrician gang up on me to try to talk me into putting Josh and Jake on Ritalin. So they have 2,000 times more energy than "regular" children, just think of how productive they are going to be some day! Economic stimulus...
-Pretty much lifting a finger brings on braxon-hicks contractions (I cannot believe my pregnancy book has the nerve to say they aren't painful!), so my house is disgusting as I conserve my energy to keeping my son's alive, priorities, priorities! Also, I have been having long bouts of nausea that Zofran won't help, yikes! My biggest pregnancy fear coming true, ahhhh!
-Had a yard sale and while more organizing is needed, you can now walk inside of my garage!
-After much force we got Josiah to walk pretty consistently, he has been able to for a while but preferred crawling or being carried. If you ask me I think it was that his knees got really sore it being shorts weather and all.

I'm sure there is a bunch more things, but I'll probably get to blogging more since it looks like it's going to be getting too hot to go outside for a while...

Pee Wee Tee Ball 2009

Emergency Ear Procedure

Although I think that John and I make good lookin' children, the combination of our health flaws aren't as attractive! My sister, grandmother and several cousins all have ear canals that are shaped as such to trap moisture resulting in persistent ear infections. This constant bacteria growth becomes anti-biotic resistant after a while and causes permanent ear loss. John's contributions are allergies and allergy induced asthma, he did out grow the worst of it by age 16. The problem with this combo: you cannot let the allergies run it's course to build up immunities to 'out grow it' because the constant moisture drip causes the ear infections! AHHH! At 19 months of age after well over a dozen different antibiotics used to clear Josh's ears we opted for putting in tubes in his canals to support proper drainage. This has worked wonderful with only 3 ear infections that could be regularly treated until this month. The last week of May he had a fever and complained of ear pain but I just assumed that his tubes were finally falling out (they are supposed to fall out by themselves after 2 years or so.) But when one ear in particular was looking inflamed and draining puss, I took him in. He had a ruptured ear drum due to a funky bacteria. At this visit the P.A. told me that she couldn't see the tube so it must have fallen out. (Sidenote: Josiah came in a few days later for his own ear infection that refused to clear.) So armed with a new and improved antibiotic I thought it was strange after a week to see no improvement. On Wed. Josh woke up with blood coming out of both of his ears, so we went back to the Doc's and were sent to the ENT specialist that put his tubes in. The ENT looked in his ears and said that both tubes were in but hindering more than helping and that they needed to come out today along with all the puss. So he postponed a scheduled surgery and an hour later I was holding Josh's hand as a nurse was administering local antistatic prepping him for an "emergency extraction." So they took his tubes out, drained and sucked out all the yickies. Thank goodness my in-laws were home so that I didn't have to be dealing with the little ones this whole time! He was only in pain for about 30 minutes after, then was acting just like himself again. In 4 weeks we will go back to the ENT for hearing tests to see if there is more permanent damage (he has 25% loss in left) and after everything heals they can see if new tubes and removal of tonsils and adenoids can help any. If he does need another surgery I sure hope we can squeeze it in before baby comes!!!

Summer Days

When it's nice out we practically live outside, enjoying our backyard. So if you come over and nobody answers the door and there is a vehicle home, pop in around back and check for us there! Here's what we've been up to in our yard of wonders:Our plastic pool of 4 years broke and it was fun to get to go buy a new one. We got "the big fancy one" that is a good foot radius bigger than our old one with a feature that blew Josh and Jake's mind; a slide. They soon discovered that "if I slide naked I can go fast like navy seals" but there will no pictures of that here :) This is one with Grace and Cody, the angelic children I watch on Friday's (in the pool on the right) The swooshing of the slide mean lots of hydration for my surrounding grass! Who needs play equipment when you have 4 wheeler ramps to climb on?!?

With the mill behind our house closed down the deer are no longer afraid to come down the hill and snack in our garden. This photo also shows how long we let the wilderness get down at the bottom of our lot. I wish I could get my hands on a mini bailer and make some hay! Our poor old mower was smoking after finishing this little plot.
All my boys cruising around the back "checking on man stuff." We are so blessed to have such a great back yard! It means we can pretend to be country doing things like having a nice size garden and irrigating via pumping from our creek.

We got a great deal on some paver stones and are working on prepping ground for a patio. The older boys helped shovel a lot, even Josiah doing some work by hand. Josh helped a ton too by assisting John unload the 4 pallets of paver stones off of John's pick-up! The inside of my house will always be a disaster zone, but I'll tell you with all these workers I'll have the best landscaping on the block for sure!

Track and Field... well, Field!

Jesse did shot put and Juli did discus this year at districts. It's for the best of the league to compete and the top two from each event advance to state.

Jesse P.R.ed (personal record) and claimed 3rd place. Jesse was the only Jr. in the finals (top 8) amongst all Sr.'s.

Juli P.R.ed huge, and this here 'lil freshmen got 8th place. One of her warm up throws would have gotten her 3rd, but that is just how it goes. I love the last action pic of Jub, the competitive emotion that is in her face, something rarely seen in my sweet, shy sister in law.

Mother's Day

Yes, I know Mother's Day was last month, but I'm just now putting down what I was thinking that weekend.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm one lucky lady. I have a mother, the woman that gave birth to me PLUS a step-mother who raised me the second half of my childhood PLUS hands down the best mother in law I could ask for! Thank you to all the mothers in my life, I love you guys!

The Peters clan gathered at Eagle Crest for mother's day weekend...

Obviously these are the cousins, hard to believe there will be two more to try to capture next year. My poor Jake in the top right is so not photogenic there is no use trying to get a good picture of that one.

"Papa Peters" pushed Mandy and Josiah on the swings for a good 20 minutes+. This was very much appreciated because this simple task makes me so nauseous; another thing to look forward to in 2 months :)

The wonderful Peters men, quite possibly solving all the world's problems.

The deer here are so tame that Josh touched them a few times. I do believe they enjoy the fine wining and dining from the visitors.

John got me the most thoughtful gift, a ring like the one above with all the names of the boy's on it. At first I was a little upset that he blew May's grocery budget of such a frivolous thing, but rest assured utilities were much less this month so it all worked out. It's just a smidgen too tight for my slightly swollen right ring finger (fits on the left one though) so it's on a necklace for the time being.

Prune

"God blesses those who paitently endure testing..." James 1:12a

I've shied away from posting because I've had a no good, very bad attitude towards life lately. I married into a family that has funny sayings for things and accordingly I've been "pruning out" thus being a prune. I'm not too proud to admit that I've been angry with God, throwing my immature temper-tantrums crying my eyes out at night. But I'm sure all my readers have flawless walks with the Lord, so you have no idea what I'm talking about. By letting the enemy steal my joy and filling my heart with anger, the past month or so has left me very empty emotionally. Today I got the first good news it seems like we've had in a loooong time and while I was immediately glad, it turned to sobering sobs as I realized just how awful I've been, far from patiently enduring testing. The book of James, especially the first chapter, has always been one of my favorites, but I really need to re-read it today...

"Dear brothers and sisters, whenever trouble comes your way, let it be an opportunity for joy. For when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be strong in character and ready for anything." James 1:2-4

Thank you!

Thanks everyone for voting for Josiah in the contest, he won the best smile award!

Baby Contest: Vote for Josiah!

Josiah has been entered into a baby contest put on by the country radio station 99.9 KRKT. Help us win a whole bunch of cool stuff! Go to www.krkt.com and click on baby contest. Vote for Josiah David Peters (you have to enter whole name) in the 1-2 year old category. Feel free to put his name in all the categories ;)

Tulip Festival

In between downpours on Saturday we headed out to the tulip festival in Woodburn to check out (never been before) and so John could PR with his buddies (tough job, but someones gotta do it.) We literally had like 25 minutes between rain dumps but I seemed to get in a few pictures... One of the "games" there was simply a water pump that gushed water down a gutter to push rubber duckies (many of them so you can race.) I had to pry the older boys off of this. Definitely a good idea for our future pumpkin patch/corn maze.

Josh took it very seriously.

Josiah's new tricks

Josiah learned two new things today. The first one was that when his big brother's leave the bottom dresser drawer open, it's very fun to empty the drawer and crawl in. Then smile adorably to hide your guiltiness.

The second trick was crawling into the bathtub fully clothed, and head first, with water inside (slow drain). He did that twice today. No pictures to document this because I was too busy kissing the boobooed head and stripping clothes off the little w.

Random

As a late anniversary surprise John and I headed down to K-falls for 48 hours all by our selves! We stopped at Crater Lake on our way back home, I had never been, so that was fun!
It was kinda weird, there was TONS of snow but it was 70+ degrees in the sunshine.

Ag fest 2009 was super fun, John worked at his companies' booth Saturday morning and we followed him there later. Once again we walked away with tons of free starts of: veggies, trees, shrubs, flowers and bushes.

Josiah turned 1 year old April 6th. He is 31.5 inches long, 24.8 pounds, boasts 8 razor sharp teeth, and has taken his first steps but not enough to declare him "walking".

Joshua is officially 4.5 now and is trying to impress you with his ability to wedge cheese-it's in his teeth. He is 3'9" tall and 43 pounds, thank goodness he knows he is "big kid" now and doesn't even ask to be carried by me!

This is our Jacob, whom feel asleep in the middle of the kitchen floor, he is 3'4" tall and 35.5 pounds. He is very "grown up" for his age, most people don't believe me that he is 2.5 years old, if only he could get the whole potty thing down!